December 15 Mary: Matt. 1:18-25; Luke 1:26-38

When I found this image of Mary, I was astounded at how well it captured what I believe would have been her response to the news that the angel Gabrielle gave to her. Yes, she had strong enough faith to agree to what the angel told her. Yes, she was willing to do as God asked. Yes, she had just agreed to completely alter the entire rest of her life. I wonder sometimes if she had second thoughts. I wonder if she really believed it was going to happen to her. I wonder if after she said yes, her next thought was, "What did I just agree to?"

I can't begin to imagine her emotions. I'm sure fear was pretty high up there. My reason for believing this was the fact that she didn't go running to Joseph and her parents saying, "Hey! Guess what just happened to me!!!" She remained silent and asked to go to her cousin Elizabeth. She needed time to think. She needed time to prepare for this uncharted journey. I think her trip to see Elizabeth may have been in some ways a confirmation to her of the message she received. She was told that she was carrying a baby. When a woman is told that she's pregnant, it's very hard to comprehend even when the circumstances are far more traditional than Mary's. You take stock of your body and try to decide if you feel differently. For the most part, you don't feel any different at all. Then, you probably feel sick and tired. But even with the minor changes you recognize, until you actually feel that baby kick or experience the amazing technology of ultrasound, it's hard to believe there's an actual baby growing inside you. Mary was left to believe that not really knowing what to expect. Someone who is pregnant by traditional means can talk to her mother or sisters or friends and ask all the questions of what to expect when you're expecting. Mary couldn't really do that. By going to see Elizabeth, she could reap two significant benefits. Number one, she could see with her own eyes if what Gabrielle said about Elizabeth was true. Number two, if it was true, which would likely mean that the part about her conceiving a child by the Holy Spirit was also true, she could have another female to discuss this with. Surely Elizabeth would be open to Mary's story if she had experienced a miracle conception.

God took all the awkwardness away from Mary when she entered Elizabeth's tent and Elizabeth knew Mary was carrying the savior. She blurted it out before anyone else could possibly know. Another emotion for Mary - Relief. Finally, she would be able to share her thoughts, anxiety, joy and hope with another human being without fear of judgement.

I try to imagine the evening chats with Elizabeth. Elizabeth was also a highly favored daughter of God. To carry John the Baptist and give birth to the one who would go before the Lord is pretty darn amazing. I wonder if their evening talks pondered what Jesus would be like. According to prophesy, He would be the King of Kings. He would be the long-awaited Messiah who would save Israel. At the very least, He would be famous. However, because both women were probably well-schooled in their faith, they must have also recognized the parallel prophesy of the suffering servant. I wonder if Mary had any idea how deeply her heart would be pierced. If she worried about Jesus' future. If she was concerned about how to raise a king. Elizabeth probably gave her great comfort. She probably reassured Mary that God had chosen her for a reason. He would not just leave her on her own.

Mary's trip back to Nazareth must have been challenging. I imagine her heart racing. I imagine her rehearsing in her mind all the ways she would tell her parents and Joseph. I imagine she must have prayed. A lot. None of us wants to disappoint those we love and surely she knew her news would not be received with joy. She had to have unwavering faith in God that He would turn the hearts of those she needed. And of course, He did. I imagine her looking Joseph right in the eye and saying, "I was not unfaithful to you." Looking her parents in the eye and saying, "Your grandchild will have greatness beyond anything any of us could possibly imagine. You'll have to trust me on this. I'm still pure." This was her first test of courage and she completely relied on God.

My prayer today is to face frightening circumstances and confrontations with God at my side. Using Mary as my guide, looking my problems straight in the eye and saying, "Here's how God wants it, so here's how I'm going to do it." I hope to find we can all find those special women in our lives who were put there to guide and support us. I also hope that I go against my nature a little and take time to ponder instead of jumping right in.